How Not to Flirt

how not to flirt

There are lots of how-to guides out there that tell people how to flirt. This is not one of them. Instead, this is a guide that tells you how not to flirt, how to maintain your distance from the opposite sex, and remain modest.

Living in a Western society, men and women often have to work together, whether it’s for school or for professional purposes. Sometimes you just can’t get out of it and it’s a required part of the work you do. In these situations, it’s important to remain friendly and professional, especially if you are required to work in these environments for long periods of times. But sometimes, the line between friendly and flirtation can become blurry and you can begin to flirt unknowingly with the opposite sex. You might think of it as just being friendly, but the other person might be perceiving it differently.

And so I’ve compiled a list of 8 things to avoid when interacting with the opposite sex in order stay away from flirting.

Avoid Eye-contact

Many of us know of the ‘lower your gaze’ ayah in the Quran, and it holds firm especially in this case. When interacting with the opposite sex, avoid looking them in the eye for prolonged periods of time since it can sometimes be considered very direct and inviting. Instead of looking the other person directly in the eyes when talking with them, focus on something else.

Stay Away from Overusing Emoticons

In the age of technology, most of our conversations take place over phones and Facebook, and there’s nothing wrong with exchanging ideas and thoughts over social media. But the line between friendly and flirting can become indistinct when emoticons are overused, since they come off as jokey and overly-friendly. Keep it simple and keep it brief.

Avoid Physical Proximity

There are many situations in which you won’t be able to avoid being in proximity of the opposite sex, like a full elevator, a meeting, a bus, etc. But try to maintain your distance whenever you can. People don’t generally like it when you invade their personal space (unless absolutely necessary, like on the bus), so keep to yourself and don’t get too close.

Try Not to Tease

Teasing implies a close relationship, and can cultivate feelings of attraction. It’s okay to crack a joke once in awhile when interacting with the opposite sex, but teasing takes it to another level as it can be quite personal and can make the other person feel like you’re interested in them.

Don’t Compliment Appearances

Commenting or complimenting someone’s appearance is another way that lets someone know you’re interested in them. It’s only natural to notice someone and the way they look, but commenting on it as it could send someone the wrong message. So keep your thoughts to yourself.

Avoid Being Alone

There are obviously some cases where this is absolutely unavoidable, but try and avoid being alone with the opposite sex as much as you can as it is an invitation to Shaitan. You may not have any bad intentions when meeting with someone, but you don’t know the thoughts or feelings that could occur when being alone, and so try and avoid it as much as possible.

Hands to Yourself

Some of us are a lot more affectionate than others, and are used to giving hugs or high fives or even props. We may not have any ill intention when we do it, and we think that we’re just being friendly, but again, it could be perceived the wrong way. Also, Allah has asked us to keep our distance from non-mehram so that includes keeping your hands to yourself!

Don’t Fidget with Your Hair/Hijab

So many flirting guides encourage girls to play with their hair since it brings a guy’s attention to your hands, hair, etc, and it’s true! Don’t call attention to yourself by fidgeting or playing with your hair or hijab. Fidget with a pen or something else if you need to, but avoid calling attention to physical aspects of you.

And those are some tips on how not to flirt! Some girls are naturally very friendly, which come across as being flirtatious in some scenarios. So it’s best to maintain distance and avoid some of common things that be considered flirting in this day and age so as to maintain modesty. Indeed only Allah knows our intentions and is the only one who can judge our actions.

Hope you found this useful! Keep smiling.

With love.


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