Marriage Talk: Planning a Wedding

planning a wedding

Welcome to Part 4 in the Marriage Talk series. Previously we talked about finding someone to marry, speaking with your suitor, and dealing with rejection.

In this day and age of commercialized love, it can be quite difficult planning a wedding. Whether you’re a girl or a guy, you are constantly bombarded by ideas of love and romance.

From how big the ring should be, to how you should propose, to how big your wedding should be, to where you should go on your honeymoon, it can be quite difficult to get away from these super high standards. These standards are thrown in our face in the shows we watch, the movies we see, the books we read, and even the people we talk to. There is a constant competition in the world of weddings so much so that planning a wedding has become a full time job. It is no longer about the life you are about to lead with another person, but about the one day that has to be perfect.

Before I go any further, let me back up by saying: your wedding day is important. For many, finding someone to marry is a struggle and so when they finally find someone, they want to celebrate it. Celebrate it. It’s a happy day, alhamdulilah. But don’t become consumed by the idea of perfection in this one day. It’s just one day.

Many of us become so obsessed with the tiny details, like what colour the flowers should be, to how many guests should be there, to how many tiers we should have on our cake, to wearing the most expensive shoes money can buy, etc., that we lose sight of the bigger picture. And what is the bigger picture? Getting married. Completing half of your deen. Entering into a beautiful relationship blessed by God.

We become so consumed by focusing all of our time and energies on this one day, that we forget to think about the rest of your life together with the other person. Have you thought about how you’re going to live when the lights and cameras are gone? Have you spoken about your  Islamic rights and responsibilities to each other?

We pour all of our resources into this one day that we forget that life goes on after this one day. There are some scary statistics out there that chronicle how expensive the average weddings can cost. The astronomical cost to a wedding often deters many young people from getting married because they are afraid they can’t afford the glamorous, expensive they think they’re supposed to have. And it’s sad that this is the state of affairs now.

There’s this constant pressure to let loose and do the things you’ve always wanted to on your wedding day, because, come on, it’s your wedding day. You’ll only have the one day, so why not spoil yourself and make it a Bollywood feature length film? Your wedding day might be the most important day of your life, but don’t forget that it’s just another day in your life. It will begin and it will end. It will be another day you will have to account for on the Day of Judgement. So don’t follow the trends or succumb to the pressure of doing things you know are wrong.

Aim for a marriage more beautiful than a wedding. Because the glitz and glam only lasts for a day; the rest of your life is living in moments that aren’t as glamorous or camera-worthy, but are even more beautiful.

So when planning a wedding, remember that it’s just one day. You have the rest of your life ahead of you.

Hope you found this useful.

With love.

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