We all know the importance of communication in any relationship, especially marriage. It’s a key to the success of any marriage. But what does it look like? How do you communicate with your spouse when you’re angry or annoyed? How do you go about sharing your thoughts and ideas to build a strong life with your husband or wife?
Read our 5 tips to find out more!
Your spouse is not a mind reader! They have no idea what’s going on in your mind. Many of us get caught up in the line of thinking that our spouse knows us best and should know why we’re upset or annoyed, but that’s not the case. Your husband or wife doesn’t know what you’re thinking and so it’s important to share with them what’s going on to avoid miscommunication and further annoyance.
The second component to sharing is sharing YOURSELF. So many times we keep things in, thinking that the other person will think what we’re saying is boring or that our story wasn’t funny, so we don’t share anything. But this just creates further distance and causes more problems. Tell your husband or wife how your day was, what weird thing happened at the grocery store, how your parents are doing, etc. Big or small, share it!
This might be the obvious one, and the one we all think we know how to do, but that’s not the case! Many of us are poor listeners and just don’t know it. Ask yourself this: how many times do you actually listen to what your husband or wife is saying, instead of thinking about how to respond? Probably not a lot. Many of us suffer from this. Wet get so caught up thinking about how we’re going to respond that we miss out on so much of what the other person is saying. So just pause your own thoughts and listen to what your spouse is actually telling you.
Part of listening is not just listening to the words, but the tone and inflection behind them. Your husband or wife might say “I’m fine” but their tone could be saying anything but! You’ll know better what your spouse sounds like when they’re tired or excited or overwhelmed, etc. so listen and watch out for those signs.
Sometimes our spouse shares things with us, not because they’re super exciting or important, but just because they want to share a part of themselves with us. It’s important to respond accordingly. You can do this by asking a question, making a comment, or asking them to tell you more. This is an important part of communicating with anyone, not just your spouse, since it lets the other person know that you care about what they’re saying and that you’re listening.
PUT THE PHONE AWAY
This is a big block to communication, especially in today’s society and age. Sometimes it’s okay to carry on a conversation while you’re on your phone because it’s important or you’re checking something. But not all the time. If you’re constantly on your phone while your spouse is around, it can lead them to think that they’re not as important as whatever you’re looking at on your phone. You might think that you’re able to multitask by being on your phone and listening to your spouse, but there’s a chance your husband or wife feels ignored when you’re on your phone constantly. So give your undivided attention to them and put the phone/piece of technology away.
Time is probably the highest value of currency we all have. It’s something we’re all short on apparently and are running out of. We’re all busy, but it’s important to make time for your spouse. Every marriage needs time and you need to invest it in your relationship if you want it to work. Understanding your spouse and learning how to communicate with them doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a process that takes time. So if you’re spending all your time elsewhere, then that doesn’t leave you with much time or energy to give to your relationship.
And those are 5 tips to the key to communication in marriage! Remember, don’t focus on what your spouse can do for you or what they’re not doing for you. Focus on how you can give your best to the relationship to make it a strong foundation that will lead you both to jannah, inshAllah.
We hope you found this useful!