In the age of Facebook statuses and Instagram selfies, many of us are constantly comparing ourselves to our peers. Whether it’s how the other person dresses, what they eat, and even their time with their spouse, we can see it all. And seeing it all isn’t a good thing.
These windows into other people’s lives are destructive for us, because they often make us jealous of other people’s lives and what they have. And this includes jealousy in marriage.
It’s so easy to take these tiny glimpses into other people’s lives and assume them to be the whole picture. This can often be a destructive force for our self-esteem, and for our marriages. We begin to quickly assume that because so-and-so gets to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower for their anniversary or receives a luxurious gift, that their husband or wife is better. And this is dangerous.
We often forget that what we see on our screens isn’t the whole story. It’s just one picture. We have absolutely no idea what goes on when the camera isn’t on. We have no idea of the relationship between a husband and wife, but make assumptions and judgements based on the rosy, everything-is-swell image we see. It’s just one picture.
This can lead us to question our own marriage and relationship, as we begin to feel bitter about what other people have and what they do. We begin to measure ourselves against these pictures that paint perfection, while forgetting that no relationship is perfect. There are good days, and there are also bad days. We see only the bad in our relationship and see only the good in others, thus causing a self-destructive cycle.
It would be far too easy to say close your eyes and unfollow people who share pictures and posts, but that’s impossible in our world full of images. But what you can do is ignore them. Stop comparing yourself and your husband or wife to your friends and their spouses.
Focus on yourself and your own marriage, instead of looking at others. If you want a better relationship with your spouse, work for it, instead of being bitter about things that aren’t or couldn’t be. Be grateful for what you do have, instead of looking at what others have.
The topic of over-sharing can also be applied to you. Be selective about the things you share. Does everyone really need to know that your husband brought you breakfast in bed (#blessed)? Does everyone really need to know that your wife surprised you with an-inclusive trip across the world (#alhamdulilah)? It’s great that you feel blessed, but not everyone needs to know and see every detail of your life. If you feel blessed, say alhamdulilah and thank the one who gave it to you. Don’t brag about it all over social media. You don’t know that the so-called simple things you enjoy could be perceived as luxuries for other people.
Keep the details of your private life private. And don’t share it with the world. Be grateful for the life you do have, and don’t look at the so-called perfect life of others. You have no idea what their life is truly like.
Hope you found this useful.