Hijabi Tips: Dealing with Unsupportive Family

dealing with unsupportive family

So you decided to wear hijab? Congratulations!

Making the decision to wear hijab is a monumental one and one that has huge ramifications on your life, whether you think it will or won’t.

You might think that after making the decision to wear hijab that life will be sunshine and daisies, but unfortunately that’s not the case. When you made the decision to wear hijab, inshAllah you made it with the purest of intentions but you don’t know how those closest to you will interpret this decision of yours. You might think that your close family and friends will be supportive, that they will rejoice in your decision, but that may not be the case.

Shock and outrage may come to you from those you expected would support you and support may come to you from those you expected would be shocked. You don’t know how people will react, regardless of whether they’re Muslim or not.

One of the largest causes of girls hesitating to wear hijab is because of unsupportive family, whether it’s your parents, siblings, or other extended family. Many girls shy away from hijab because they’re worried how their family will perceive them or they already know that their family won’t support them. Dealing with unsupportive family can be quite difficult.

I wish every girl who chose to wear hijab could get the support and encouragement she deserves, but unfortunately that’s not always the case. Hijab is a difficult, yet rewarding, undertaking, and does not come any easier when those closest to you are outraged with your decision.

Being challenged by those closest to you is difficult. It’s one of the most difficult things you might have to face, but you should have patience and faith in Allah. We all know of the ayah in which Allah has told us that he does not burden a single soul beyond that which they can bear (Quran 2:286). In simpler words, you can handle this.

Yes, it might suck to be told by your grandfather that you look like a terrorist or be told by your parents that you’re becoming an extremist or having your friends ditch you. It will hurt a lot, and at times it might seem like Allah is unfairly punishing you for something you have chosen to do for Him. But just because Allah puts a thorn in your path does not mean that He wishes you to stumble and falter on your journey. He is simply testing you. So do not become obsessed with one thorn. Your journey to Allah continues beyond this thorn.

I know that saying all of this might be easier said than done. I know that it can become very difficult to remember to have patience when you are constantly being brought down for your decision, being made fun of, or even being told to take off your hijab. I know it can be difficult.

But you need to have faith- in Allah and in yourself. Why did you decide to wear hijab? Go back to the reasons you made this important decision and reflect on them. When your friends or family make fun of you or ask you about your hijab, tell them, why you chose to wear it. Don’t just tell them about all the benefits or positive parts of hijab, tell them why it’s important to you personally. I say this because sometimes people have different interpretations of the Quran and Sunnah, and you don’t want to get into any unnecessary arguments about the validity of hijab. Tell them why it’s important to you. InshAllah they will understand.

And if they don’t, that’s fine too. They don’t have to agree with you or with hijab. But they do have to be able to accept you for who you are, with and without the hijab. So tell them kindly but firmly that hijab is now a part of who you are and that it’s something that will have to accept about you at some point.

In the meantime, keep making dua that Allah makes it easier for you. You don’t know how Allah can change the hearts of people, so just keep praying. You never know that the people most against you may one day support you in the face of discrimination. So don’t give up.

Hope this helps, beautiful girls! Keep smiling.

With love.

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